When dealing with incidents at school it is important that you know your rights and what the school's procedures. School-info4u.com equips you with the skills that will enable you
to support your child much more effectively.
When dealing with conflicts some teachers can sometimes overreact and pupils can find this threatening. The situation can often escalate and some teachers will be afraid to back down; they might end up shouting at the pupil and embarrassing them.
They might invade the pupil’s space and then be unable to diffuse the situation. If someone infringes another’s rights and personal space, it goes without saying that the person on the receiving end will be pretty annoyed.
The Education Act 1996 allows teachers and other staff in school to use ‘reasonable force’ with pupils if they are trying to stop them from harming someone or damaging something, committing a crime or causing a disruption.
However, a confrontational approach will often only aggravate the situation. If these type of situations could be avoided, there would be a lower rate of exclusion.
The problem is one of ego; the pupil wants to look good in front of their friends and the teacher needs to be seen to be in control.
Putting the pieces together
If your child should happen to be involved in an incident at school you will need to:
- Question them thoroughly. Make sure that your child is not exaggerating the situation as a result of being upset and/or angry.
- It isn’t wise to take your child's word as gospel. Your child may be telling you selective information because they want to make themselves appear as the innocent party and the teacher as the bully. Your child may be telling the truth, but they may not be giving you the complete picture.
- Try to get a full picture of what actually happened. You will end up making a fool of yourself if you go storming into your child’s school making accusations, after you failed to get both sides of the situation.
- Don’t try to deal with the situation when you are still angry, calm down first, because you will need to be calm to be able to deal with the situation effectively.
- If your child has a mentor, Connexions Personal Adviser or member of staff responsible for their pastoral care, talk to them first. Talk to the teacher involved WITH the head of year present. Only if this approach fails should you consider going to the head teacher.
Should you make a formal complaint to your child’s school?
- Think about what you would like the preferred outcome to be.
- It is important to collect all the facts first so you will be able to put across your concerns clearly and assertively.
- In order to work positively with the school to resolve the matter you should try to follow their complaints procedure carefully.
- Find out if any other pupils were involved in the incident. Try and get statements from all those involved and ask the parents or carers for their support in making a complaint, as this will make your case stronger.
- Make sure that your child’s school understands that you want to work with them to resolve the issue.
- You need to put everything in writing because this will force the school to take your concerns seriously. The letter should contain a list of your concerns and worries, your suggestions on how to resolve the issue and any questions that you may have.
- You should come across as assertive but also non-confrontational and non-aggressive in the letter.
- It is also important to keep a record of any attempts you have made to contact the school; you can also mention this in your letter.
‘He who angers you, conquers you’. Buddha
What are the guidelines for making a formal complaint to your child’s school?
- In the first instance you should always try to get things sorted out with the member of staff it concerns, but if this is unsuccessful, you should go to a senior teacher; this should be a head of year, deputy head or head teacher.
- If you find that you do need to get a senior teacher involved, you can either write to them, phone to arrange a meeting or visit the school.
- It’s important to note that they might not be available if you just turn up without making an appointment.
- If you decide to contact the head of year or senior teacher by phone, request that they meet with you to discuss the problem. Serious issues always need to be sorted out face-to-face.
- You must make sure that they view you as a concerned parent or carer who is willing to compromise and be co-operative but at the same time, someone who wants their concerns to be taken seriously and addressed.
- Ignore any negative comments and stay positive and assertive, keeping to the point. Talk things through calmly and rationally.
- While the incident is being investigated you will need to exercise patience, this will ensure that things run smoothly.
- When you meet to discuss the matter, make sure you take someone with you for support. You should invite a family member/friend, your child’s Learning Mentor or Connexions Personal Adviser, if your child has one.
- Make sure that you have a positive attitude, a negative one will only backfire on you. Be rational and calm.
- Advise teachers on the different methods that they could use to motivate and encourage your child.
- Always get clarification from teachers about what actions they intend to take.
- If you and the senior teacher are still unable to resolve the problem, you can go to the LEA and/or the governing body or even your local MP.
‘If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself’. Joseph Farrell
‘Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf’. Native American Proverb
Talking to teachers
There are a couple of things that you will need to consider before approaching any teacher regarding an incident involving your child:
- Are they likely to be unhelpful?
- Have they had any conflict with your child before?
If the answer is yes to any of the above, you might need to consider approaching another teacher.
Complaining to your child’s school: Taking matters further
If all other attempts to resolve the issue have failed, you can contact the chair of governors to make a formal complaint. They are an objective party and will take your concerns very seriously.
You can expect the school to challenge you and it is more than likey to be a case of your word against theirs.
The panel of governors will ask everyone involved to provide a written statement. Once they have investigated the situation they will write to you and the school to inform you of their decision.
If you disagree with the decision, you can contact the LEA, your local MP/Councillor, Director of Education and/or Secretary of State for Education.
When you write to your MP/Councillor, Director of Education or Secretary of State for Education to make a complaint, you should include your evidence. Your child’s mentor or Connexions PA will be able to support you with this.
The Secretary of State can take up to six months or more to investigate your complaint.
Making a complaint to the Secretary of State will show your child’s school how serious you really are about settling the matter; it might even encourage them to resolve the issue with you immediately.
‘Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones’.
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